Bariatric surgery is a major event in your weight-loss journey, and the event is best seen as a new beginning. Obesity is a lifelong disease and there is no operation, diet or medication that can by itself offer a permanent cure. Surgery with good aftercare and lifestyle changes can give wonderful long-term results for health and weight. Many challenges will be faced and one can be how to deal with environments, friends, co-workers, or family members who sabotage your efforts to lose weight or eat healthier.
Your environment shapes human behavior. Small changes in context can lead to large changes in behavior over time. Setting your environment up for success is key for long-term health. It is easier to build new habits in a good environment because you are not fighting against old cues.
Divide and Conquer. If household members insist on bringing foods into the house that you find tempting, try to establish one cabinet where those foods will be stored…and discipline yourself to stay away from that cabinet. It helps if the "junk" cabinet can be out of the way. By the same token, clear out an easily accessible cabinet to stock with "approved" snacks and foods. You can do the same thing with shelves in the fridge.
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Bring your loved ones to your appointments. This will open their eyes and debunk any myths about weight loss surgery, and allows you and your loved ones to ask questions directly to our team.
Encourage your family to utilize the resources that were given to you from your medical team. Knowledge may be key to them understanding what you need and what you are going through.
Who are currently the unsupportive people in your life?
Who are the supportive people in your life?
Here are 4 strategies that can help you stick to your guns even without the support of those in your household.
How to change in an unsupportive environment:
Establish No-Snack Zones. Sticking to your guns while watching a movie, working on the computer, or spending time with your family may be challenging if the family room is a 24-hour snack buffet. Even if you can't control what or when they eat, it helps if you can at least control where they eat it. Confine food and snacks to the kitchen and dining room or some other space and reserve living areas for living.
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Live and Let Live. Make a deal with your family or friends. You won't lecture them about their eating habits but they cannot make any comments about yours, either. No teasing about what you're missing. No snarky comments about how much or little you are eating. No comments that "you're perfect just the way you are." Keep in mind that people who don't want to change often try to prevent the people around them from changing because it takes the pressure off of them.
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Find Support Outside the Home. Just because you don't have the support of your family, doesn't mean you have to go it alone. It's never been easier to connect with friends or even total strangers who share your goals and can offer moral support. You can communicate by text message, post on an online forum, use social networking sites, or pick up the phone. Join a team or group that makes your desired behavior easy to achieve. i.e exercise class, Walking club
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What do you need to make your environment a success?
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Make new friends, but keep the old? Not so fast. You may need to evaluate some of your relationships after bariatric surgery. Some of your old friends may not provide the kind of support and encouragement that you need. The "still-overweight binge buddies" may try to sabotage your success by making negative comments or encouraging unhealthy eating. Establishing a healthy support system is crucial to long-term success after bariatric surgery.
Evaluate your current relationships:
Some strategies to help your family support your decision to have bariatric surgery for obesity include:
If it is your close partner, relative or friend who has concerns, you may want to bring them along to your appointment with your psychologist and nutritionist. Doing so can help them understand the expectations and motivation as to why you're wanting weight loss surgery.
Lead by example. Maintaining a positive mindset and relationship with food consistently may encourage support. Your new healthy behaviors may rub off on them once they see you are serious.
If, after taking these steps, your family and friends remain unsupportive, it is important to take a step back and remember the reasons why you want to undergo weight loss surgery.
What is your "why" for undergoing your surgery?
Do you consider your environment positive or challenging?
Lastly, understanding why people say and do what they do after your surgery is important.
"How will our social and everyday life would change."
They may be thinking:
Did your life together revolve around food, drinking, going out?
What will your celebrations and time spent look like now?
"Will they still find me acceptable?"
As your self-confidence builds and weight starts to decrease, people may start to reveal their own insecurities and fear that they may lose you. They fear that they may be left behind or replaced with someone new.
"Will my significant other still love me after the surgery? Will I be good enough?"
The best way for you to help your spouse is to have an honest and loving conversation about these fears. Sharing feelings gives you the opportunity to bond. Most spouses are longing to hear that you love them and that you will not leave them after the surgery.
"I'm scared!"
There is a lot of inaccurate information that can be communicated with bariatric surgery and people can be concerned. Their statements or actions may truly be out of concern, but they don't know how to communicate it.
People need good, honest information.
"I don't know how to help"
Before and after surgery there is a team effort approach to your getting healthy. Most friends and family simply don't know how to help.
Be open and honest about your needs and wants. If you don't tell people what you need, then they won't know how help.
What are your take-away's or AHA's regarding this important topic? What changes or shifts will you make moving forward to support your success?
© inHealth Medical Services, Inc. 2020